What is your plan? What do you hope to be doing by next year?
When I was young, I rode my horses fearlessly and didn't even notice if they were argumentative. We went anywhere and everywhere. They were never sick and never lame. Now, 30 years later, it takes courage just to get on and I have to dig really deep to stay on when my horse starts bouncing around rebelliously, arguing that going home or staying home is a much better idea. This past year I've bailed out a few times. But it's a new day and I'll try again.
It's easy for someone who is standing on solid ground or sitting on a quiet horse to watch a struggling rider and give opinions as to what "they would do" in that situation- or look down their nose at someone who "gave up" out of fear and just did ground work instead of riding that day.... It's hard to be "that person" who gave up. Self preservation is a very strong instinct. Yesterday I felt quite broken and wanted to give up and go back to safer hobbies, such as painting, photography, sewing... Today I'm ready to try again. Make a new plan, follow through, get home alive, safe and sound. Today is a new day.
Life is this way too. Is there an area of your life that you can relate this to? What do you want to do but are, or have become afraid to do? Perhaps you are afraid of people and want to avoid or control things that are not yours to control? Don't give up. Pray about it, listen to God's leading and step forward instead of backward. What is your plan? What do you hope to be doing by next year?